Suicide is a sensitive and complex issue that is often approached with reticence in various settings, including the evangelical sphere. But its growing social impact and the suffering it generates make open dialogue and an effective pastoral response a must.

Spanish news website, Protestante Digital, interviewed Hans-Claus Ewen, a pastor and collaborator of the Pastoral and Suicide Group of the Spanish Evangelical Alliance, on this issue.

Ewen, an experienced pastor, was the speaker at a free online workshop recently organised by the Spanish Evangelical Alliance for leaders and community members who wish to understand and address this reality from a biblical and compassionate perspective.

The workshop also featured the valuable testimony of Rosa Burguera and Miguel Lara, from the Christian band Sal150, who shared their personal experience of the suicide of their daughter.

Question. You have been collaborating with the Spanish Evangelical Alliance's working group on mourning and suicide for some time. What was your initial approach to the subject of suicide, and what prompted you to investigate it from a pastoral perspective?

Answer. I first came into contact with this subject through Gina Campalans from Ibiza, who runs the bereavement association 'Say Goodbye'. The working group I joined is called the 'Grief Working Group' and, over time, we of course added the issue of suicide as well.

I wrote a short booklet about my mourning after my first wife died 17 years ago. About seven years later, I wrote that little book, and God has used it to help many people overcome the difficult process of experiencing loss.

The subject of suicide came up more strongly due to the increase in suicides in the wake of the pandemic, in both Germany and Spain.

Furthermore, there have recently been suicides within the Christian community, including among pastors, which is alarming for church members. Therefore, it is crucial to address the issue from biblical and pastoral points of view.

Q. Suicide has long been a taboo subject in society, but it is now becoming more widely discussed, at least in terms of statistics, and there is greater awareness of mental health care. Do you think the church is also making progress in this area?

A. I think the church still handles death as a taboo subject. It is not a popular subject for Sunday sermons, even though death is omnipresent.

The subject of suicide is even more difficult because of the questions that arise depending on the theological background: What happens to those who commit suicide? Do they go to heaven or hell? Do they lose their salvation? And so on.

[destacate]“There is an obsession with the positive in the churches, death is still a taboo subject ”[/destacate]These are theological and psychological burdens that go along with the fact that a person has committed suicide.

This is why I think the church is moving forward, but very slowly. For example, I found that a pastor in Mexico commented in my book that thanatology — the study of death — is something that is avoided.

This is partly due to what I call an 'obsession with the positive' in churches: the obsession with only talking about supposedly good and positive things.

When I did a series of sermons about what I called 'the negative feelings of God', it caught the attention of many because, in their view, God had to be joyful and happy, but it is not like that, so I think we are moving forward, just very slowly.

Q. You have written a short book about the pastoral challenges surrounding suicide. In order for churches to start talking about it and taking an interest, pastors and leaders need to recognise the need. Do you think there is interest at least among the leadership?

A. There should be. Suicide is not very common. There are churches that have never experienced it and others where it has happened multiple times. For example, I spoke to a family where two brothers and a cousin committed suicide in one church.

However, I believe that leaders have a responsibility to offer support throughout the full spectrum of human experiences.

Part of that responsibility is teaching the less attractive parts of the Bible, because it addresses both death and suicide. As Paul said, it would be good for leaders to be concerned to teach the whole counsel of God, and not just the topics most dear and desired by the congregation.

[photo_footer] Poster of the free online workshop on mourning and suicide organised by the Spanish Evangelical Alliance. [/photo_footer] 

The biblical foundation and the mourning

Q. You mentioned the biblical basis. What are the most important teaching to bear in mind when dealing with this issue?

A. Firstly, there is a historical problem because all Christianity has its origins in Roman Catholicism, since we Protestants are only 500 years old.

According to what I found out about the Roman Catholic Church, a person who had committed suicide could not receive a sacramental burial, because, in the Church's teaching, this person had practically lost their salvation.

This is a historical burden for the whole Church: what happens to someone who commits suicide? He definitely did something that does not seem to be in accordance with the Bible.

It was not until 1983 that the Roman Catholic Church removed the rule preventing suicidal people from being buried in 'holy ground', as Catholics call it.

There are several cases of suicide in the Bible. Perhaps the best known is Judas in the New Testament, but there are also several cases in the Old Testament.

[destacate]“A person who has been born into Christ has received forgiveness of sins”[/destacate]The question many people ask is that of salvation. If salvation depends on our behaviour, then for example, if an evangelical lies and has a heart attack a second later, they don't even have time to ask God for forgiveness. Where will he end up? Will he go to hell simply because he lied? It is highly unlikely.

We have to be very firm in what we believe about how we are saved or not. And according to the Word, the salvation of mankind is a work of God. We receive it by faith, but the work is done by God through Jesus Christ on the cross.

We have to distinguish between the identity of the sinner and committing a sin.

Sinners are definitely people who have never been born again in Christ, and their destiny is an eternity without God; they will have to bear the full weight of their sins and guilt that they have committed.

But a person who has been born into Christ has received forgiveness of sins. The sins one commits as a Christian cannot change his identity as a child of God.

For example, in 1 John 2:1 we read: “My little children, these things I write to you so that you may not sin”. A Christian should not make sin his routine. “But if any man sin, we have an advocate”, he says, for in Christ we have not only redemption and propitiation for our sins, but also forgiveness for the sins we commit while we are already Christians. This distinction must be made.

In German, for example, the word 'suicide' is translated as 'self-murder'. However, murder is a crime, even in the eyes of the law.

When the Bible says 'you shallnot kill', the actual word in the Ten Commandments is 'you shall not commit murder'. In fact, the more accurate translation would be 'you shall not murder'. We must be precise in our choice of words.

When researching suicides in the Bible for this booklet and event, I found it interesting that God never condemns it. He clearly condemns murder, but suicide is something that God has no opinion on. We don't find a single verse that says: 'taking your own life is an abomination, a sin and a horrible thing'.

I observed that the decision as to whether a person will be with God in eternity is determined before the day of death, because you can die suddenly in an accident and not have time to fast or pray for the bad things you have done.

Therefore, I believe the first thing that people in our churches who have lost a loved one to suicide need to know is that if that person had put their trust in Christ during their lifetime, this act would not cause them to lose their salvation.

Some people believe that those who commit suicide are never born again, but that is speculation and not a biblical teaching, because only God knows whether someone is saved or not.

[destacate]“With God, even a loss can lead to a new stage that allows us to grow”[/destacate]The Bible helps us because it talks about sad and negative feelings such as despair and depression. These are mainly described in the Psalms. The Bible shows that even God experiences negative emotions.

Going through such moments in life should not be demonised because they are part of life in a fallen world. However, God has a broader perspective on things and even loss can lead to a new stage of understanding things that could never be understood before.

As a result, we will later be able to help people who are likely to experience something similar. As the Bible says, there is good in all the bad if we walk with Jesus.

While this does not lessen the pain of the grieving family, it broadens their perspective on what is happening.

It sounds easy and theoretical, but the process is difficult. That's why we decided to hold these workshops, to help pastors and leaders support those who have experienced this kind of loss.

When it comes to suicide, there are many wounds to heal and questions to answer. With each question answered comes relief. Perhaps not all of them will be answered, but it is one thing to always have questions, and another to have only 'fifteen'.

[photo_footer] Hans Ewen, author and pastor. [/photo_footer] 

Q. When you go through the mourning process, there are parts of it that you have to go through alone. However, I believe that having a community to support you when dealing with suicide or other kinds of loss can also be very helpful.

A. Of course. One of the great purposes of the church is to foster genuine relationships and trust among brothers and sisters, because there will surely be people in the church who can help.

The bereaved person goes through different phases when mourning.

In the first phase, they may need help with practical things like bringing them food, doing their laundry and cleaning. There are people in the church who can do that.

There are people in the church who have the love and patience to listen, because talking can provide relief. There are also people who have what I would call the gift of listening: they are there for others without the need to analyse or advise.

But over time, during the mourning process, it is good to have people who can answer the difficult questions. Who is to blame? Why didn't God intervene? Why did God allow it?' and so on.

Those issues need to be addressed and discussed, and in this case, it is better if the person can provide coherent answers rather than just fatalistic ones.

When I was a pastor, I was always in contact with Christian professionals, such as psychologists and psychiatrists. When the problem is difficult, leaders should have the humility and wisdom to refer grieving people who are not coping to professionals in the field of psychology. However, the church can meet almost all the needs of a grieving person, assuming it is a church that really works.

Prevention and sensitivity

Q. What about prevention?

A. There are people who specialise in prevention, and they can advise on what kind of behaviour to look for. It's not an exact science, but after studying several cases, one can identify common patterns.

[destacate]“The whole church should look out for its people, not just the pastor or leaders”[/destacate]For example, social withdrawal is a bad sign: the person no longer speaks or communicates and is very reserved. That is a bad sign. If there is a drastic change — if someone who used to interact with everyone has become introverted — it's good if someone asks: 'How are you?'

I had a difficult time when I was mourning my first wife. Sometimes, people came up to me and asked, 'How are you?' I replied, “Do you really want to know?” That question alone filtered out many people, and I could tell from their faces that they didn't.

But some of them said, 'Yes, I do want to know'. That's when valuable conversations could take place because there was an interest.

The whole church should look out for its people, not just the pastor or leaders, but also those close to them. If a person's behaviour changes dramatically, or if there is knowledge of a history of illness or depression, those people should be contacted. That does not guarantee anything, we have to be realistic about that.

I read an article by a man who lives near a terrible ravine where many people commit suicide. Because he sees them from his house when they come near and he already knows when someone looks like they are about to take their own life, he has saved many people just by going over to talk to them. Obviously, he hasn't saved everyone.

Q. What conclusion would you like to draw?

A. My heart has always desired that churches learn to mobilise all the richness of experience they have.

Sometimes, due to their structure, churches can become very focused on the fact that a member has a problem, such as mourning or suicide, and his or her first appointment is with the pastor and the leaders. Pastors should be able to help, but those who have lived through it will be able to help in a way that I cannot.

I lost my wife to cancer, so that I can help those who are going through something similar. But other people may have lost a child, or have gone through a divorce.

What I lament is that, sometimes, churches don't foster the connections that would be helpful. The people who helped me the most were pastors who had also lost their wives. They didn't talk to me about it all the time, but every now and then they would say something, and that would be a huge step forward.

My wish is that churches can contribute and that we find a very wide range of experiences within the church that don't depend only on leadership.

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