“Why should I artificially limit my love?”

For some, monogamy is no longer seen as the best way of understanding human relationships.

Polyamory is the concept that tries to normalise new forms of “open” love, in which a person has more than one relationship at the same time.

“I just don’t see why I should artificially limit the amount of love that I put out into the world”, Noni says. She is one of the people appearing in the documentary “Love Unlimited” of BBC Scotland, aired on February 7.

“I'm greedy, I like people liking me”, she adds, as she explains her relationship with Oliver and Morgan in an article on the British public television website.

Noni represents a number of people who are pursuing a “more open and fluid approach to relationships”.

“HARD TO UNDERSTAND FOR FAMILY”

The BBC introduces the 1-hour-long documentary on its website by saying: “There is much negativity and confusion surrounding polyamory. It can be especially hard to understand for family and friends”.

A promotional image of Love Unlimited. / BBC

The two boyfriends of Noni agree to be in the relationship. None of the are an occasional affair. Being open, clear and communicative about the love triangle, she says, has an “ethical” dimension.

The agreement includes, for instance, “protecting each other from sexually transmitted diseases”, which are a big risk.

CHILDREN

What about the prospect of having children? “It is really outdated to think a child needs one mother and one father”, Noni says.

“Meta” is the term used “for the partner of one’s partner”, with whom one does not share a direct sexual or loving relationship.

A promotional image of Love Unlimited. / BBC

“Scotland is very much a monogamous country”, Noni says. But “the more we engage with people and talk about polyamory, the more accepted it is going to become, slowly but surely”.

She believes “we are definitely creating an environment that allows for a healthy community”.

THE DOCUMENTARY

The documentary of the BBC will also introduce other cases, such as that of Ross, Iain and Pav, a trio of gay men in a three-way polyamorous partnership.

The producers of the programme admit that in such relationships, “existing partners can easily feel left out, jealous or hurt (…) There’s also the emotional strain of dividing time and affection between partners and the stress and anxiety of opening up an existing relationship to new potential partners”.

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