We never considered the possibility that suicide would enter our lives... until it happened. We need society as a whole — including our churches — to be prepared to talk about suicide without fear. By Rosa Burguera Blay on World Suicide Prevention Day.
Photo: [link]Tiago Bandeira[/link].
Every day, in my country, Spain, 11 people commit suicide.
Behind each of these deaths are devastated families and friends, trapped in immense and painful grief. It is estimated that at least six people close to the deceased are deeply affected by each suicide.
I am not speaking from theory.
Our daughter Anna committed suicide in January 2022.
We never thought something like this could happen to us. We were a ‘normal’ family, a believing family, a united family. We loved our daughter deeply, and we knew she loved us too.
We never contemplated the possibility of suicide entering our lives... until it happened.
And if it happened to us, it can happen to anyone. Because suicide knows no age, belief or social class. Faith can be a protective factor, yes, but it is not an absolute shield.
Like most of society, we also believed in certain myths that prevented us from seeing and preventing what was happening:
Today we know that suicide can be prevented. It cannot be predicted, but it can be prevented. And above all, we know that talking about suicide does not cause suicide: it saves lives.
For years, after our daughter's first attempt, we stopped talking about the subject for fear of ‘giving her ideas,’ because we mistakenly thought that talking about suicide encouraged it.
Now we understand that asking directly is not only not dangerous, but opens the door to expression and help.
When someone can verbalise what they are feeling, without fear of being judged or interrupted, their distress diminishes. Being listened to with respect and calm alleviates loneliness, reduces impulsivity and can be the first step in seeking professional support.
One of the phrases we repeat most often now is: ‘When in doubt, ask.’
Asking questions with empathy does no harm. On the contrary, it shows interest, closeness and love.
You can say things like:
It's not about having magic solutions, but about accompanying and supporting.
Suicide is still a taboo subject. We need the whole of society — including our churches — to be prepared to talk about him without fear.
With sincere prayer, active listening, as our Lord Jesus knew how to do, asking key questions and using the right tools, we can shed light where there is now silence and darkness.
Because yes, suicide can be prevented. And talking about it, without fear, is one of the first steps.
If you want to come to know a little more about our story, we wrote a book (in Spanish language) which you can buy on Amazon.
Rosa Burguera
This article is part of a weekly series around World Suicide Prevention Day (WSPD), which is celebrated annually on 10 September, in coordination with the Grief and Suicide Working Group of the Spanish Evangelical Alliance.
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